My Spark Moment
The Struggle With Balance
How could I be working at a company with unlimited vacation and still not ever see my children? How could I be the advocate for others on how to build a positive balance with their jobs when I couldn't seem to balance my own schedule so I was sleeping or eating consistently? What was wrong with me?
Spoiler, there was not something wrong with me... but there was a problem with my thinking (which you might have spotted in my description of the situation above)... I was placing all my energy and time into my job (not my motivation) on the assumption that it was the best way to support my community (my motivation). Immediately, I started to analyze why through the lens of our work wellness model...
Assessing My Wellness Pillars
I knew I had needs, wants, and desires in all of my wellness pillars: physical (I needed sleep and better nutrition), mental (I felt depressed and isolated), social (I wasn't connecting with this network), and financial wellness (my job compensated for my family well—but there was an impending layoff, and I was the breadwinner in my family).
So in other words—when I stepped back to look at my overall wellness goals—they were all rooted in the improvement of my relationships with my community, but I was spending all my time improving my performance at my job on the assumption that by earning money from that job, I was providing for them and myself in the best way I could. It took a really difficult conversation with my husband to help me see that my ultimate goal (having a happy life with my family) was different from where I was spending my time (at my job) and that maybe we didn't need so much.
The Turning Point
This rocked me—I grew up as a kid from a lower-middle-class family in rural Wisconsin where we struggled like so many others just for the basics. I was scared because there are real consequences to disrupting our financial security. Real fears raced through my head about financial wellness. I thought about how I didn't have another job lined up, and I was the sole income for my household. How would we pay bills while I wasn't working, and I already didn't have enough time—how would I find the time to submit applications?
Then I thought about the consequences of not taking the leap—how my littles needed me so much in these formative years, how I was missing out on valuable time with family and friends, how I wasn't giving my all to my current job because of the constant burnout.
Taking Action
I chose two actions. Amy and I formally launched Spark Potential—we had worked on the idea for years, but it was this personal example for me of feeling as though I had "no options" that drove home how important empowerment was when it came to work wellness. I started to prioritize my family more and set better boundaries with my job.
I stopped working overtime while I was salaried. I didn't take (as many—I still liked my co-workers) international calls at all hours or calls where I was not essential. I documented and delegated more—I spent a lot more time documenting what was happening to help others find solutions for themselves, and I focused way less on managing the "how" and more on the goal.
The Outcome
I knew I had needs, wants, and desires in all of my wellness pillars: physical (I needed sleep and better nutrition), mental (I felt depressed and isolated), social (I wasn't connecting with this network), and financial wellness (my job compensated for my family well—but there was an impending layoff, and I was the breadwinner in my family).
So in other words—when I stepped back to look at my overall wellness goals—they were all rooted in the improvement of my relationships with my community, but I was spending all my time improving my performance at my job on the assumption that by earning money from that job, I was providing for them and myself in the best way I could. It took a really difficult conversation with my husband to help me see that my ultimate goal (having a happy life with my family) was different from where I was spending my time (at my job) and that maybe we didn't need so much.
Moving Forward
This rocked me—I grew up as a kid from a lower-middle-class family in rural Wisconsin where we struggled like so many others just for the basics. I was scared because there are real consequences to disrupting our financial security. Real fears raced through my head about financial wellness. I thought about how I didn't have another job lined up, and I was the sole income for my household. How would we pay bills while I wasn't working, and I already didn't have enough time—how would I find the time to submit applications?
Then I thought about the consequences of not taking the leap—how my littles needed me so much in these formative years, how I was missing out on valuable time with family and friends, how I wasn't giving my all to my current job because of the constant burnout.